I woke up this morning very early. 4am in fact. As I was laying there thinking about how early it was and how I should really try getting back to sleep, another thought came into my mind.
My thoughts turned to Naomi. I thought about how lucky I was to have her in my life. Together we have been through so much and I’m not going to lie and tell you it has all been roses and kittens because it hasn’t.
I suppose that is what a relationship should be about though shouldn’t it. Getting through the tough times.
I remember a few years back before C was born and we were living in Southampton. I was having a really hard time with life and work in general. To the point in fact that it was starting to affect my health.
I was working shifts and doing a lot of hours. I was miserable. When I was at home I wasn’t sleeping very well and I was always worrying, stressed out and in a bad mood.
It all came to a head when one day when I was driving to work. I was shattered emotionally and mentally. I pulled over into a lay by and broke down in tears. That day I didn’t go to work but instead gave Naomi a call and asked her to finish work early to chat.
You could tell she was worried. She wondered why I hadn’t gone into work and why I sounded upset. Anyway I picked her up and we went home. D was at school for another hour or so and this gave us the time we needed.
Sitting at the kitchen table I broke down again. I told her I was fed up with my life. I told her that I was crying inside all the time and that I felt my life was going nowhere.
As it all came pouring out I could see Naomi reach out and take my hand. No words were spoken but as she looked at me across the table I knew I had done the right thing in telling her.
I can remember it like it was yesterday. She told me she loved me and that she would always be there for me whatever the situation was. She wrapped her arms around me and I felt at ease. She told me that she thought I was having a hard time with things but didn’t want to push me on it.
We spoke some more and I told her that I thought our lives were going nowhere and we were stuck in a rut. She listened to me and told me that life can sometimes be like that.
I told her I was fed up in my job and I didn’t know what to do. She told me that whatever I wanted to do she would stick by me. I spoke about how I wanted more from life and she agreed.
We have always been close but that day brought us even closer. I realised that whatever I was going through then, now or in the future, Naomi would be there for me. She instilled a confidence and warmth that I hadn’t had before.
I stayed in the job for a while but things were different. I had hope and knew that going forward changes would be made to better our lives.
Every day I wake up knowing Naomi and I are a team and that whatever life throws at us we can deal with it together. It’s what gets me up in the morning.
SD
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I love that with your blog you frequently battle that tired old stereotype of Dads being the breadwinners and going out to work every day, but you’ve just earned yourself some more brownie points by battling the image of men being ‘sissies’ if they cry by proving that keeping it bottled up gets you nowhere.
Continue being an inspiration!
It sounds like you have a fantastic, supportive wife. Marriage is a struggle at times, just as life is too sometimes. Well done on working through the bad bits, they make the good bits all the better.
They say behind every successful man is a strong women.
Sounds like you have a gem in Naomi :-)
The test of a true relationship is getting through the tough times as well as enjoying the good times.
Ps the things that get me put of bed most days is the fact that I need to pee ;-)
What a lovely thing to write. You sound like a really strong couple who love each other to bits :0)