Before you read too far, please don’t think I’m too tight when it comes to a birthday party…!
So my youngest daughter has started school and she is loving it. She’s settled in really well and is starting to make good friends already.
There is a problem though. Birthday party invitations.
She’s only been there a few weeks and has had four birthday invitations already. And although I’m happy for her to go, I’m not happy about forking out a shed load of money on presents for little Tommy and Jackie (not real names) when she doesn’t really know them!
Now I know what you thinking – you tight git!
But if there are 30 kids in her class, and they all end up having birthday parties…well, you do the math!
Potential options for birthday party gifts
- Don’t let her go to any parties. Let’s face it; at that age they are just as happy with a bag of sweets or being able to watch the latest episode of Spongebob Squarepants than heading off to a party which they will forget in a day or two.
- Throw her an early birthday party and use the presents she receives as future gifts…
- Buy a job lot of colouring books on eBay.
- Don’t be so tight and splash the cash. I should stop overthinking things and just spend a little bit extra. It’s not going to kill me.
The first option may seem a tad mean but will she really care?
What can you do?
In all seriousness, I expect my feelings on this subject to mirror quite a few of your feelings. It’s not like I don’t want to buy presents for all her little friends. It’s not like I want her to be the kid that’s known for giving crap presents.
I just don’t want to be pressured into spending money that frankly could be used elsewhere.
So if you don’t want to come across as a total tightwad or you’re battling with an ever tight budget, what can you do so your kid won’t hate you saying no to every invite.
Buy in bulk
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Instead of buying a doll, or a construction set, look to put together a little package of gifts.
Head to the pound shop and buy a few small bits that you can put together to make one larger gift, for less. Things like a mug, hot chocolate and marshmallows in a box, or a pamper set of a hairbrush, mirror and face pack.
Also, look to take advantage of 3 for 2 toy offers run at Argos or take a look at the toy promotions run at Boots as they always have loads of choice.
It doesn’t matter if you buy all three of the same things as the kids won’t necessarily know what the other got.
For books, you can’t go wrong with a multi-buy. Take a look at:
Buy 10 books for £10 at The Works
If you RSVP, then go
Don’t get caught out like little 5-year-old, Alex Nash. His parents said he’d attend a birthday but then cancelled and it cost you more than just a gift!
They ended up getting invoiced for their non attendance to the tidy sum of £15.95. While that amount won’t necessarily break the bank, it may be more than the cost of a gift.
Now while I hope this is an isolated case, others may decide to take this tact as well. I mean, organising the party is a massive expense in itself and the parent will need to pay whether you attend or not.
Set a precedent
If you have a child with a birthday earlier in the school year and are planning to throw a birthday party then you could try to change the lay of the land.
On your invites, add a line that gifts aren’t necessary, or there is a max budget on gifts.
Other parents may then follow suit and have budgets agreed on before expectations are set too high.
Regift
While I love receiving gifts, I love giving too. This can sometimes be because a few of the gifts I’ve received in the past haven’t been that great.
I’m not trying to be ungrateful, but there are only so many ties a man who does wear a suit can own, and I’m not really that into adult colouring books (especially when I don’t own any colouring pens..)
If you have a collection of gifts that you maybe didn’t want/need/even realise had been invented, then you could hang onto these to regift.
Do be careful though as you may find other parents do this too. The same Peppa Pig floor puzzle could make its way around every child in the class – ending back as a gift to your child the following year!
Make your own
Think this through carefully before you start on a DIY session.
Making crafts from scratch can sometimes end up more expensive than if you just went out and bought a gift. Look for inspiration on Pinterest and try to work out how much stuff you have at home that you can get crafty with.
Be careful if you’re planning to bake a gift as some children have allergies or food intolerance which could leave your well thought out gift in the bin.
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So there are a fair few options that won’t make me look like a miser, and my kids will still enjoy a birthday party with their friends.
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Ricky Willis says
Re-gifting is something that would need a bit of forward thinking (and certainly remembering where they came from).
There is already planning with parents about when birthdays are so it could be that some parties are joined together, saving the organiser a bit of cash too.
Ricky Willis says
That’s a way to save! lol
To be honest, I think kids get a bit bored of opening presents anyway and would much prefer to play with their friends for 10 minutes longer.
mathsmum says
Am passed the lots-of-parties stage (Yay!) but I did go in for the hand-made quite a lot – as Ricky says, it can prove expensive, but if you have a ‘standard’ make – in my case Barbie clothes with material scraps from John Lewis, it can be really inexpensive to give unique gifts.
Ricky Willis says
I suppose it does get to the stage where parties get less and less often. My eldest is close to 17 so parties now come with request for a pretty dresses, shoes and a plea to have nails done….I’m not too sure she’ll be happy with me making her dress? I could suggest it….. ;-)
Liveseygirl says
I hit The Works about once every other month to see what they have in the sale. They always have good book offers and usually fun things for £1, like slinkies etc. I put them in the present drawer. If it’s a family we spend time with then I will spend up to £5/give £5 but that’s it. We re-gift any doubled up items. We invite less children to our parties and as a result tend to get less invitations, which is great. With 3 kids we could be at (at least) one party per weekend!
Ricky Willis says
I really like The Works too – it’s like a treasure trove!
Ricky Willis says
It’s a bit of a social dilemma when it comes to invites. At the start of a year, it seems to make sense to invite the whole class as no one knows each other. As time moves on, then close friends get an invite.
For our middle daughter, she has often had just one friend round for a sleepover. This seemed to work well as we had more of a relationship with the parent’s to say don’t worry about a gift. It’s much harder to have that conversation with 30+ parents, unless you put it on the invite.
Ricky Willis says
Presence not presents <<<—- I LOVE THIS!
A limo for a birthday?! Wow, the kid will have some good memories. I suppose if you have the cash then by all means spend it, but not all parent can do it.
A party for £17.40 is epic – good on you :)
Ricky Willis says
Some great tips, thanks Valerie
Ricky Willis says
Hope you managed to get it all sorted.
Wendy Milne-emslie says
WoW £17.40 that’s amazing. Please share how you did this please. X
Michelle Mills says
I always have set a budget of £5 for the birthday child then go into pound land and get all needed in there and get a box or bag and wrapped all in that. You know what even my own children want them now as I go crafty on alot of the presents depending on either girl or boy. PS I have 5 sons so the birthday party invites come thick and fast!!!