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Payday was yesterday and shall I tell you something exciting? We didn’t have to rush to the cash machine to take out money to buy food, we actually had some leftover in the cupboards!
Yes, you heard me correctly, poor old Skint Dad who only this time last month had a few quid to his name has turned a corner, a massive corner in fact!
After hitting rock bottom and coming close to crawling under that great big stone called denial again, Skint Mum and I grabbed the tops of our fluffy dad socks and pulled them up as high as the moon (just past our knees actually but you get the point I hope?!).
I have learnt some incredible things about myself over the last few weeks!
- I have learnt how to cook good food from scratch with little money.
- I have learnt to overcome my fear of dealing with debts.
- I have realised family is the most important thing when going through tough times.
- I have been empowered by all the kind people out there who have offered advice and support.
- I have developed a burning passion not just to get myself out of debt, become money savvy and educate myself in the frugal way of life but its made me grow a desire to help and show others the way as well.
It really has been a roller coaster of a month.
When I got through the initial shock and realisation that we were not just skint but totally broke and as close to the breadline than we ever have been, it was then everything became finally clear.
It was like seeing my daughter being born and feeling, knowing that nothing would be the same again.
Let’s call it my “Moment of Clarity”.
You know when you’ve been watching a film and all of a sudden the hero does something or speaks to someone and everything you’ve watched falls into place. It all becomes clear and you realise everything up to that point had a purpose.
Well, this is what has happened to me but in my case the hero is life. Life all of a sudden hit me like a steam train and woke me up so fast that it seemed as if I had been in a hazy state of denial for an eternity.
I really cannot begin to explain how different things are now but I will try.
Take right now for instance. It’s 5:30 am on a Saturday morning and I am sitting here writing this blog post, I’ve got a steaming hot cup of tea, I feel energised, alive.
Compare this to only a handful of weeks ago, I would have woken up and the dread would creep in. I would pull the covers over my head and hideaway for as long as I possibly could from the troubles of my life.
The children would wake up and ask for breakfast and I would begrudgingly pull my arse out of bed to do it. I had chores to do around the house but delayed doing them to the point of not doing them at all.
Not anymore I tell ya! Now I jump out of bed, I want to take on the challenges of the day and more!
The whole feeling in the household has changed. The children are more happy and contented and SkintMum has got that glow back which makes my heart glow in turn.
Skint Dad is obviously still Skint Dad but the mindset has definitely changed. No longer do I get downhearted at the supermarket when all I have to spend is £10. I mean with £10 you can create meals like this and this and still have £2.75 leftover!
No longer am I planning just for today and tomorrow, instead, I plan for next week, next month and even next year. I plan for when our money comes in and when our money goes out. Where before we used to work for the money we received I now reverse that and as best as possible make the money work for us.
I’m upbeat about the future. I have direction now. The path ahead is still a rocky one but by equipping myself with the right tools I know I can overcome any obstacle in my way.
If you are in a similar situation as we are then please go to the top of the page and read it again. Once you get to the end, read it again. Read it because I’m just another normal person who got into difficulties and if I can change my mindset you certainly can as well.
Take heart in what I am saying and start doing something about it today.
Make a meal for less than £2, write some achievable short term goals, start a blog, do something. And by doing something, however insignificant you may feel it is, you have set in motion the path to your own “moment of clarity”. It’s there, I promise you, you just need to open your eyes that little bit wider and you will see.
As for me, I am still Skint Dad and we are still in debt. I’m still going to wake up every morning and go to bed every night. The only thing that has changed is everything between ;-)
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This post was originally published on 26 October 2013 and has only updated for readability and layout.
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nena says
Fantastic. What a great blog post. Well done. You are not quite out of it but you are working so hard to getting out of it and your positive attitude is so inspiring.
celebrationcanvasart says
Amazingly honest from the heart post which made me smile, cry and feel ready to follow you to be honest. Well done :-) x
Angi says
Thank you for your blog found courtesy of Martin Lewis. Exactly how I feel, don’t want to get out of bed, do any chores etc, etc., but I will try and be more positive but when your house is about to be repossessed it’s very difficult.
Anonymous says
Keep up the good work fella i know how you feel
Anonymous says
Wow what a wonderful blog post. I’ve been in your situation and after eight long years in September 2013 I paid off my last debt. Keep your mindset and you will get through. It is also a fantastic feeling when you get to the end and know you will never be in that situation again because if what you have learnt along the way.
Karina says
Brilliant read! Positive & inspiring – thank you
Anonymous says
A real person with real problems making a real effort to change things , I’m exited to be following your journey . Good luck and well done .
Anonymous says
Tears are streaming down my face , you just sum up how I feel but you give me the confidence to cope and face each day
Anonymous says
Found your blog through Martin Lewis’s retweet. All the best in your attempts to become debt free.
I can also recommend some of the MSE forums about increasing income. I do surveys on YouGov and mystery shops with grassroots. The YouGov ones could be done quite quickly and easily from home and both you and your wife could do them to boost income.
Hopefully the breathing space of the £1 per month payments will help you to get a few things sorted and start making inroads into that debt.
Best of luck to you and your family.
Ryan says
Great post mate! Guess its all about finding optimism in a situation. Sounds like you and your family are a lot more content than a couple of weeks ago. Keep up the positive mindset. Never know where you’ll be at with your blog and in your life this time next year!
frugalqueen says
You will get there, believe me and keep working at it, remain a non spender and you will reverse your family fortunes xx
Jonathan says
Great read! I love the way making dishes from scratch is both cheaper than buying ready made things and also really satisfying. Have you seen the blog ‘A Girl Called Jack’? It’s all about cooking on a budget and there are loads of great recipes.
Michelle Twin Mum says
What a fabulous post, this is my first time to your blog but this post is so positive and uplifting, you can just feel it. Good luck on your journey to being debt free with the right mindset and actions you will achieve it. Mich x
Helen @ Peakle Pie says
Lovely to hear you positive and looking forward to the future rather than fearing it. We are making Xmas presents this year and making our own advent calendars, wrapping paper and labels too. Stay strong & stay focused :-)
Tina Culbertson says
That was an inspiring post. I am sharing this with my son and his wife as they are in dire straits right now. He’s in the army and gets little pay. With a 6 month old baby and lots of debt, they can use advice like yours here. As a matter of fact, I can use it too!!
My Tunbridge Wells says
I love this post! So motivating. I am in a similar position where I now feel energised and enthusiastic about life and getting up in the morning is easy peasy. Think it might have something to do with trading in the office job to become self employed. Best move I could have ever made. You are doing so well Ricky – keep up the great work :)